C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Randomize
