i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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