We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
