Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
