So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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