Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
