ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I love having hate sex.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
