I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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