It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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