im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize