i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
