Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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