i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
