thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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