I looked at my own cervix.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How's work?
Spinning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
