it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
