Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
