I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
