Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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