There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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