He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
