I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
