i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
