So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No...this little piggys going to the bar
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
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