Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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