are you still at the devil's house?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
