their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
last night I used snow as a chaser
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
