I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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