Plan B is the new Plan A
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
