I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
