Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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