If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
