just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
