The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize