I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
