I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
