Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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