I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He shit in the fireplace
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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