You're my little dorito
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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