There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize