I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you win again, gameday.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
