Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
