apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
