This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize