I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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