she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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