I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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