so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
