It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
