Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
