I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
