Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
