I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
