with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
