The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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