The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
