Too much gin, very little bucket
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
