never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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