I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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