If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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