$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
