Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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