Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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