You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Do you remember whose house we're in?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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