you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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