Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
