brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What did we do last night that was yellow?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
