Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize