you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
